Sunday, August 03, 2008
Missing my blog: Part three
stevenperez said...
"Maybe about being married to someone who is in leadership at a church. I think it's an interesting and overlooked role. It comes with its own set of trials and triumphs. I'd love to hear about some of that as would Haley."
When I first read this response I thought, oh boy, this is going to take awhile. But then I thought, what a great opportunity to really share my heart about something that is so important to me and my husband. I am not going to try and glorify the role of a pastors wife nor am I going to make it sound like it's the hardest thing in the world. Because when you have an amazing leader in your life, it is easy to want to follow them.
Since the day I met Kirk, I along with everyone else that knew him, saw that he was deeply rooted in the word of God and his relationship was solid. When he lead(s) worship you can see his love and passion shine through. He has never been the type of person to "flaunt" his worship. if that makes any sense at all, because his focus has always been on the Lord, not on those he was leading, after all, that's what worship is about, right?! When Kirk and I were dating, he is the one that made sure we prayed every night before we say goodbye and goodnight to each other, and we still do that to this very day. now all that to say, i feel that it is the most important thing to have my husband be in tune with the Lord always.
Now as for my role, I have not always been the type of person to want to be submissive, especially to a man. Before I got saved, I was the type of woman who decided I would do everything I could to be independent from everything and be able to take care of myself. That is one of the biggest changes in my life since I came to know the Lord. I can still see it come out every once and a while and I am quickly reminded that, that is not the woman God made me to be.
Now that I am at home with our son and no longer work in an office I am in the midst of what I, and Kirk, feel I am called to do. Serving next to my husband and serving him by caring for our son has been the biggest blessing I could ever ask for. Now, it hasn't been all perfect and wonderful, being a pastors wife has definitely come with it's sacrifices. I think when you are in ministry, it is more than a 40 hour a week job. It's more than just a day job. Ministry doesn't end. Why? Because you are dealing with people, some who often need help and when you are their pastor, you are on call. So boundaries are necessary. You can't predict when people are going to call you because they need help or because volunteers can't remember how things are supposed to be done. So to expect my husband to leave his "work" at work is sometimes not an option. We have to constantly remind ourselves, however, that the Lord calls us to serve the Lord then our families then everything else comes after that.
What has been really cool for me is to be able to connect with the women who either serve in Kirk's ministry or are spouses of those who serve in his ministry. I have met some of the most amazing women though him and have made some life long friends.
So, Steven and Haley, to you I say, stay rooted in the Lord first and foremost. Love one another and Haley, be willing to sacrifice some of your time with your husband, because there will be times when he has to go somewhere for ministry and you have to stay home and all you want him to do is blow it off to stay at home and spend time together. I am so grateful to serve with him and a life in ministry is one of the coolest jobs you could ask for. You always have a chance to travel, you may have to move, but you are constantly meeting new people who love the Lord and there is always a new place to serve.
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1 comment:
Have you read "Created to Be His Help-Meet"? I'm reading it now...it's all about the godly roles of a wife, and a lot of the ideas are VERY counter-cultural, but quite biblical. I've struggled with a lot of it because I lived on my own for so long- it's sometimes hard to hand over the reigns to Chris for the big decisions. I'm rambling...but glad to see you back on the blog. :)
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