Lindsey Miller

I'm Sorry I'm A Christian

2010-04-01T11:42:00.000-07:00

Resolution? I hope not.

2010-01-20T15:37:00.000-08:00

Well, at least it hasn't been a whole year since I last blogged, but it has been awhile. I have neglected my writing (along with a few other passions of mine) but I have good reason for it... I have a TWO year old! As you can see above, he is the cutest most fun loving little boy in the whole wide world. (In my humble opinion.) But he also takes up a lot of my attention. But that's not the reason why I am blogging today...
Every year, at the beginning of the year we have all become accustomed making a "New Year Resolution." And every year we always seem to break them. Whether it's to lose weight, quit bad habits, eat healthier, do more in our community, exercise more, blah blah blah, they all seem to fall apart by June. So with that being said, the past few years I decided to not make any more resolutions. Why set myself up for failure? Why disappoint myself by not finishing something I've started (yet again?) But this year is different. This year i needed a change, this year I really wanted to evaluate who I am and what my strengths and weaknesses are. Why? Because I'm crazy! Not really, only a little...
So here's what the Lord has been challenging me on. At one point in my life I had friendships that were so deep and intentional that we knew the ins and outs of one another lives. We did ministry together, we hung out together, we had what I like to think of as "true community." Now, 4 and a half years ago when Kirk and I moved out to Escondido I was faced with some major changes. Not only was I a newlywed, getting used to having a boy in my house all the time, but I was plucked out of my fish bowl and thrown into the big blue! I was the opposite of Nemo! It's terrifying moving to a place where you know no one and your family is no longer two minutes away. Don't get me wrong, it's the best decision that Kirk and I ever made (with God's prompting) and I couldn't imagine life without Escondido and EFCC, but here's where the struggle came in. I didn't have a job for the first 3 months or so that we lived here and we didn't have children either, so I was home, alone, while Kirk was at work. I didn't really have an area to develop relationships because I had never been anywhere where nobody knew me or my family. So I got in touch with my inner-introvert as I like to call it. (Most people who knew me in the desert would not say I am anything close to introverted, but there it was.) I was definitely lonely and really missed my friends and family in the desert so every chance we got, we were back there. Then slowly, family moved out of the desert, some friends even moved out this way, and people moved on in their life back home. It was no longer the place I needed to go to feel refreshed because I didn't have relationships like I used to there. Now don't get me wrong, the desert is still my home and I miss my Southwest family so much, even now, but things have changed.
Moving forward, slowly but surely I was able to connect with people out here, I have met some amazing people that I consider my family and could not imagine life with out them. Kirk and I have couples that we both connect to, which is super rare. And the friends that I had in the desert that are out here, truly an added bonus. We love our Esco family.
The challenge? Why am I not closer with those that I feel are my family? I love these people with all my heart, but can't seem to break through, or rather let those walls down to become open and honest about who I am. I started to ask myself how many people really "know" me. Of course people know aspects of me. There are some that I am more comfortable sharing with than others, but who is the true me? I know who I am, my husband knows who I am. But beyond that? Who are the women in my life that know my struggles? That can read me like a book? That can challenge me with out fear of offending me? The same goes for me. Who do I feel comfortable doing that with, or even allowing them that access in my life?
So what I feel God telling me I need to work on in my life is my relationships. By being intentional about who I surround myself with and also learning to be more trusting rather than scared to open my heart to others. I have a huge fear of rejection and so I suppose that's what drives me to keep most people at arms length. But I don't want to live through fear. I am a strong woman whom God has given many abilities to use to His glory.
It's been amazing seeing the confirmation that God has put in front of me, or really slapped me in the face with, because I know now that I am hearing what he wants from me so clearly that I can't turn away. The messages at church; confirmation. Leadership teams; confirmation. My husband; confirmation. And through those I have shared this desire with already; confirmation.
I really look forward to seeing how I am going to grow over these next few months. And at the same time, prepared that it is not going to be easy.I have already been on an emotional roller coaster these past few weeks and I know God hasn't even scratched the surface of what he's going to do in my life.
I share this all to ask for prayers, and through the appropriate people, accountability. Like I said, this is not a new year resolution, it's me. It's my life. And I want to honor God in all aspects of it.
I leave with this verse from The Message:
Romans 8:15-17

"This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what's coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with him!"

Google Reader will be the end of me...

2009-05-26T20:26:00.000-07:00

It has been so long since I last blogged and I feel ashamed. But that does not mean I haven't been following your lovely blogs. I've got all of my fellow bloggers on Google Reader and so that has become my only stop when it comes to blogs. And I swear, if it weren't for google reader I would be blogging a lot more because the "NEW POST" button would contantly be staring at me. I'm half way tempted to get rid of it so I can force myself to come to my blog more often... then again, that probably won't happen, I know myself to well.
As I look back on my last post I realized that so much has gone on in our lives. The most mind consuming and at the forfront of our prayer lives has been the major step Kirk has taken to become the Contempory Worship Pastor. About a week after we decided to accept the job we got the worst new possible. We found out that Kirk's pollup had returned. (If you didn't already know, a couple of years ago he found out that he had a pollup. We were told it has been caused by excessive singing, acid reflux, bad allergies and a few other things. So we changed our habits and eventually it went away, oh and he also couldn't sing for 6 months.)So you can believe that finding out that he would have to take another 6 months off of singing, in the midst of being promoted as well as launching a brand new service, was mind blowing. Well, I can't say that things have become much more positive, with the exception of finding out that instead of having a pollup he has nodes. (The difference being that a pollup is more like a blister and the node is more like a callus.) Since the node was found, Kirk has found out that he has GERD and then got Strep Throat out of nowhere! The only thing that can explain this all dumping down on us at the same time is that this is a huge spiritual attack on Kirk's ministry. You see, everything that has been happening has directly been affecting his throat. No where else, just the place closest to his vocal chords. Ugh! So the reason why I write about all of this is to say, we need prayer. We know that God has something amazing planned for the EFCC congregation thought this new transition. And although some aren't the most excited about the change, we know it is greatly needed. So our prayer is that the Lord protect him from any further attacks, to get his reflux under control and most of all prepare the hearts of EFCC for this change. God has something amazing in store for all of us and I can't wait to see what it is, I just want my husband to use his amazing voice again.
Other than that, these past few months (wow months! I can't believe I haven't blogged in months!) have been wonderful. This past weekend we spent some time away from life and relaxed with our baby boy and family. We had a rejuvinating weekend and are ready to hit these next couple of weeks head on. June 7th is the Launch of the new 11:00am service at EFCC and I am also running my very first 5k that morning. So, pray for my family, we need it! And if you see Kirk, give him a word of encouragement... he deserves it. ;)

Exciting News!

2009-02-12T15:14:00.000-08:00

Ok, here it is. The news that we have been talking about, yet not talking about for a week now.
Contrary to certain hopes (mainly from my mom) we are not pregnant, no, not yet.
Last week Kirk was offered a "promotion" of sorts to become the Worship Pastor for our Saturday night service and the future 11 a.m. service at our church. This week, we accepted the offer. The decision is bitter-sweet for us because we have been with Resonate since it's beginning and our core group of friends go to that service. The move offers Kirk a wider range of people to minister to and allows him to be apart of a big change that the church will be going through. We are very excited about this step in our lives and are excited about how God will use Kirk through this process.
So, there it is. I could go on and on about it, but I won't. I'm sure there are a lot of questions that people have, so feel free to ask. But most of all, pray. Pray for Resonate and the person that will be leading at that service once the change happens. and pray for Kirk as he enters into a brand new world of ministry.

God is Good

2009-02-10T11:29:00.001-08:00

Really, I just wanted a reason to share some photos from our recent trip to the beach. I've got some exciting news to share soon, so be on the lookout for my blog, and no, I am not pregnant! Hehe.
So enjoy the photos.

Spaz Attack!

2009-02-09T16:04:00.000-08:00

I just felt the need to share that I have recently discovered that my son is a complete Spaz! Growing up, my step daddy always called me a spaz and never understood why, I thought I was pretty normal. ( As normal as a teenager can be.) Anyway, the other day I was washing our sheets and threw my down comforter on the floor so Elijah could lay on it (he loves soft things) and he started rolling around on it. So I thought, I'm going to enjoy the moment and lay down there with him. So as I did Elijah stopped rolling and just stared at me. It was such a sweet moment. Then he started rolling around again. :)
Yesterday we were upstairs playing and he, for no apparent reason, started running around in a circle looking up at the ceiling. He babbled for awhile and then would fall to his bottom, then would start rolling around. His new favorite thing is to crawl backwards and he does it until he runs into something.
So that's it, I just wanted to share some fun events from the past week, also, enjoy the awesome photo taken by JonnyUps.com.
Also, I now understand why I used to be called a spaz and where Elijah gets it from. :)

I am especially fond of you...

2009-01-22T16:06:00.000-08:00

Love. Forgiveness. Redemption. Relationship.

These are all things that I was challenged in with this book. For those who have not read it, I will provide what was written on the Back Cover:
"Mackenzie Allen Phillip's youngest daughter, Missy, has been abducted during a family vacation and evidence that she may have been brutally murdered is found in an abandoned shack deep in the Oregon wilderness. Four years later, in the midst of his Great Sadness, Mack receives a suspicious note, apparently from God, inviting him back to that shack for a weekend.

Against his better judgement he arrives at the shack on a wintry afternoon and walks back into his darkest nightmare. What he finds there will change Mack's world forever.

In a world where religion seems to grow increasingly irrelevant THE SHACK wrestles with the timeless question: Where is God in a world so filled with unspeakable pain? The answers Mack gets will astound you and perhaps transform you as much as it did him. You'll want everyone around you to read this book!"

This book came to me at such an amazing time in my life. Although it is a fictional story, it challenged me in such an amazing way in many areas in my life. From the beginning of this story I was in tears, just the thought of losing my child is devastating, however, they way God chose his daughter's death was absolutely incredible.

Throughout this book God is constantly challenging Mack's perception on who and what God should be. Mack also interacted with Sarayu (The Holy Spirit) and Jesus (Yeshua.) Each of the characters (weird to refer to them as "characters") in the book had a different purpose in their interaction with Mack as to break him even more of what the world has taught him about God.

The way that WM. Paul Young writes is so incredible that you feel like you are there experiencing everything the main character is. For that alone, I would recommend this book. His descriptions are so thorough and precise, no detail is left out.

There are many parts of this book that hit me at the core, one of which being the way that I relate to God. In the book God is referred to as Papa, because that's what Mack's wife calls God. I thought, what a neat way to be able to talk to God. To feel so close that you could say Papa or Daddy. To be so comfortable in your time together that you don't feel that you have to say the typical names that you have been taught to say in Sunday school.

The other is the forgiveness that not only is shown from the Trinity, but that which is learned by Mack. I think this was the biggest one for me. Why? Well for the past... well, awhile now, I have been struggling with un-forgiveness in my own life. I have experienced a lot of hurt in my child hood and have found it hard to forgive those that needed it. All within the week that I read this book I had four different challenges on forgiveness from four different venues in my life, all saying the same exact thing. So all that to say, God has been pressing on my heart to begin to let go of that anger and pain that I've held onto throughout these past years. Mack pretty much said what I felt when he was challenged to forgive the person that murdered his daughter; that he didn't deserve it, that he needed to be punished himself and that he should be the one to stick it to him. And of course Papa challenges him saying it's not his right to say whether the man deserves forgiveness or not, it's not his right to say he needs punishment and it is not his right to believe he is the only one that can "fix" this man. Whew! This book is awesome!

So overall, I thought this book was pretty amazing. I know there is a lot of controversy surrounding it, so here goes my argument.

First of all, this book is FICTION!! The reason why the author wrote this book was for his family, he never intended for it to become some huge phenomenon. But it did.

Second, this is all this authors perspective. He chose to show God as an African America woman. I know right off the bat people will begin the argument that God is not a woman, women aren't even supposed to have that sort of authority over men. All I have to say is "FICTION!" No where did the author claim this to be truth and if God chose to reveal himself to us in some way, if he found us deserving enough to see him, who's to say what he really looks like. It the book, Mack claims to envision God as a sort of Gandalf looking character (side note: awesome LOTR reference.) How often have we envisioned that same thing. People claim that Jesus was a white man, which I think is ridiculous because he so clearly was not from America or was British. I can't stand seeing movies with Jesus portrayed as a white man with blue eyes and flowing blonde hair. It's so wrong, he was from the Middle East!

Third, the writer shows the Trinity as three different beings. I think for the story to have the affect that it did, you needed to show them as three different people, although they never claimed to be separate, they always claimed to be one. I don't want to argue this point too much because I don't think it's necessary, some have heard the audible voice of God, most of us need the urging of the Holy Spirit to make us move. Moving on...

The last argument that I will bring up is the one about the Ten Commandments. I have heard people say that the book tells us to ignore the commandments because they are confusing and God doesn't really care about them. Now, I'm not about to assume what the author meant when he wrote about the Ten Commandments, but what I got from is was that, God put this commandments in place because the people were worshipping idol gods and were going crazy doing what they wanted to do. I think what the author tried to get across was that, we will never be able to live up to these laws, we will never be able to attain them, there is only one who was able to do so and that was Christ, Yeshua. That does not mean that we can throw all caution to the wind and do what we want, it means we still strive to be like Christ and honor God in all we do. Just because we know we know that we will disappoint our spouses or family or friends doesn't mean we just don't have them. No, we work hard at them, we ask for forgiveness when we need to, we grow from the mistakes and we try to do better.

So, that was my assessment of the book, I hope that you do read it, even if you don't agree with it. just remember, it's a fictional story (that does not mean that God can't use it) and it is not meant to challenge your beliefs. Hopefully you can grow in your relationship with the Lord.

By the way, once you read the book, you will understand the title of my blog.

Thanks for reading. I would love to hear your thoughts.

Late Eve Blog

2009-01-02T22:52:00.000-08:00

It's late and I can't seem to sleep, so I figured, hey, I haven't written a blog in awhile and I always make an excuse that I don't have time to write, so here it goes.
I figured if I want to become a real blogger one day, I might as well start the annual tradition of a "reflection" blog. So, here it goes:
2008 highlights (in no particular order):
~ Celebrated Elijah's 1st birthday
~ Had very first getaway with my husband. Julian is quickly becoming our favorite romantic hideaway.
~ Started a photography ministry within our Women's Ministry.
~ Went to an amazing Beth Moore conference in San Diego.
~ Joined women's bible study.
~ Started a bible study with some friends.
~ Bought our very first Christmas tree and celebrated in our very own home.
I know I'm missing a lot, but my mind is starting to become mush. It's waaaaaay past my bed time.
Looking forward to 2009:
~ As usual I hope to grow closer in my relationship with the Lord.
~ Continue to learn more about my amazing husband.
~ Get in shape again, I can no longer use the excuse of just having a baby, now it just becomes laziness.
~ Learn more recipes. I love cooking.
~ Become an amazing mom, I have a great example so if I can be half the mother I have I know Elijah will turn out just fine.
~ Grow deeper in my friendship, no more surface-y relationships.
~ Lay my roots down in women's ministry, it's an amazing place to serve and am blessed to be involved.
I pray that you all have an amazing year to look forward to, and whatever resolutions, promises and hopes you have, I pray you keep them and experience the blessings the Lord truly has to offer you.

Quick update

2008-11-12T15:15:00.000-08:00

I haven't had the chance to blog lately, and I have so much to share. I still don't have much time, so what I am going to do instead is post a few recent photos from the past couple of months.
Starting from my sweet Elijah's first birthday:

Halloween:

And last, Minnesota, photos aren't that great of quality, but that darn puzzle was absolutely ridiculous!!!

Looking for inspiration...

2008-10-01T20:50:00.000-07:00

I enjoyed that last time I asked for blogging topics so much that I'm back at it again. Call it laziness, call it an easy way to blog, but I really enjoy writing about what others really want to read. So, if you are interested, throw out a topic and I'll respond to it as quickly as I can. I always appreciate the input. Thanks y'all.

Took a little break...

2008-09-04T10:33:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a few weeks since I put a blog up and my only excuse is pure distraction! In the past two weeks a lot has happened. First of all, I was completely consumed by the Beijing Olympics. This is the only time I get to enjoy water polo. And I get so proud when I see a fellow Indio Alum coaching the women's water polo team. They got the silver but put up a huge fight when playing against the Netherlands. My poor boys lost against Hungary, but what was amazing about the mens USA team was that they were counted out of the entire competition. But like the Cinderella's of water polo that they are, they surprised everyone and almost made it to the top. They, as did the ladies, took home a silver. Of course everyone was amazed by the machine the is Michael Phelps. As a former swimmer I was completely blown away by what that man accomplished. Who knows if anyone will ever be able to match what he has done. I was so excited to witness history in the making. Honorable mention goes out to Nastia Lukin and Shawn Johnson (I want to carry her around in my pocket!) They made gymnastics a fun sport to watch this year and had such great personalities.
So moving on from that... I have recently found an ongoing "gig" so to say with our women's ministry doing the photography for their events. I am in a leadership position so I get to bring other women around me, who have a passion for photography, serve underneath this area. Another goal is to bring some younger women into this ministry and our new women's directors heart is to bridge the gap between the older and younger women. Above is a picture of the kick off weekend. It was a great turn out and I really hope more women join the events and programs that are happening in the upcoming year.

In other news, Kirk starts school in a week, so be praying for him. It's a lot of work and he will be gone quite a bit. Pray that he is able to balance his work as well as his school work. Pray that I will be extra encouraging to him during this time and that I will not be too selfish with my time with him. I tend to get that way when I know he won't be home as much. I will be starting a women's bible study on Tuesday mornings, not leading, just attending, and I'm really excited for it. Preparations for Elijah's 1st birthday have already started. I can not believe that he is almost a year old.
Well, that's all the update I have for now, I will be back soon. Oh yes, I will. :):)

A Revelation!!

2008-08-07T16:30:00.000-07:00

This morning I got to spend some much needed time with my Husband and son. Family Time!! The past few nights Kirk has been helping out some friends lead worship at our former churches summer camp so that meant he was gone in the evening. Also meaning no time with Elijah when he got home. Bummer for him, and coming home to a barely there wife, since I was obviously asleep by 9:30pm!! So this morning after he got ready he tells me, I'm staying home this morning. Yay!! So I quickly got ready and we walked down to Starbucks where the ladies oohed and awed at Elijah. I'm used to it now. ;) While we were there we got to really catch up on the majors and minors of the past few days. I don't like that we miss that time, but it was well worth it to have him home this morning. So as we were talking he let me know about some photography options that would hopefully bring some extra cash in. Wouldn't that be nice. quickly started making excuses as to why I'm not good enough to get paid for my work and no one would want my stuff because it doesn't stand out from every other photographer, there's got to be at least 20 people that I know that are aspiring photographers. Lame. So what sets me apart? Why would some one want to come to me? Other than the fact that I am a friend and it's convenient. So there's the challenge, find out a way to be unique. Get my stuff out there and don't be afraid of criticism! Wow, what a concept.
So, this afternoon I was able to go to a friends house who was putting together floral arrangements for a friends wedding on Saturday. She is hoping to start a flower business and provide some beautiful pieces for weddings, etc. So my job was to try to capture the beauty of her work for her future website. Sweet! My favorite photos happen to be floral photos, I don't know why, I just love to shoot them. So I hope that she enjoys what I did and that this could bring some confidence to myself and force me to get my photos out there. So here are a few photos I took, I hope you enjoy them. :)

Missing my blog: Part four... not missing the blog so much these days.

2008-08-05T09:56:00.000-07:00

danielle said...
i like writing about random things that need sharing, so maybe that helps...any interesting things that happen to you, or verses that are inspirational. i like what the first girl said about pictures and i agree with summer's authenticity quote...
Hmmm, Random things? I feel like most of my posts end up being random, so I figure I'll just write and whatever comes to mind will be posted. :):) Good luck with this one!!
Things that bless me:
*My husband
*My baby
*Spending time with my lifelong friends.
-Last night brought a lot of laughter and not suprisingly some tears were shared. Updating each other on our lives was fun and sharing our "challenges" in life was even more exciting. I love those moments when friends allow a vulnerability with one another and really let you in. Those are the friendships I yearn to have and continue to deepen. So in short, I loved last night!!
*Having guests in my home
*The smell of cinnamon water boiling. Smells life a fresh pie baking in the oven and permiates throughout the entire house!
Downer:
*My heart breaks for some friends that are struggling.
Philippians 4:6 NIV
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

In Remembrance...

2008-08-04T15:59:00.000-07:00

This past weekend Kirk and I drove down to Indian Wells to celebrate the life our our dear friend Lindsey Sowles. About three months ago, Lindsey was diagnosed with a rare form of Soft Tissue Sarcoma. She was 21 and was an active member of the community. While we were at her services we quickly realized the amount of lives that Lindsey had impacted. There seemed to be close to a thousand people there. The service was absolutely beautiful with slideshows and music sung by some of our amazing friends. The people that spoke really touched your heart and gave you a glimpse into Lindsey's life. The whole thing seemed so surreal. I was talking to a friend after the service and just said, the it seemed as if this was supposed to be her wedding, not her funeral. We felt like she would walk in the room any minute with her beautiful smile and she would meet her fiance at the alter.
The whole thing was such an emotional roller coaster. We laughed, we cried, we laughed again. The one thing I was most amazed by was her mom. Debbie and I became pretty close while we worked together at Southwest Community Church and I've always known her to be an incredibly strong woman who was deeply rooted in the Lord. Nothing has changed. When we greeted her and gave our condolences, she simply replied with a "thank you and it's ok. I know she is with the Lord and I would rather her be there than in that hospital." Being a mom now, I could hardly imagine what it would be like to lose my son. I don't even want to think about it.
Debbie's strength is such a testimony to her relationship with the Lord and how at peace Lindsey was in her last days on this earth. Whenever someone I know passes away, I can't help but think about my own life and how the Lord blesses me every morning with breath. That in itself is a daily miracle. To know that she has done all that she could on this earth is an amazing thought. That there is nothing else the Lord wanted her to do here, that He said, ok it's my turn again. Wow. How amazing.
So I write this blog in honor of Lindsey, and the Sowles family. You are in our daily prayers. Thank you for how you have impacted our lives. And we love you dearly.

Missing my blog: Part three

2008-08-03T12:24:00.001-07:00

stevenperez said...
"Maybe about being married to someone who is in leadership at a church. I think it's an interesting and overlooked role. It comes with its own set of trials and triumphs. I'd love to hear about some of that as would Haley."
When I first read this response I thought, oh boy, this is going to take awhile. But then I thought, what a great opportunity to really share my heart about something that is so important to me and my husband. I am not going to try and glorify the role of a pastors wife nor am I going to make it sound like it's the hardest thing in the world. Because when you have an amazing leader in your life, it is easy to want to follow them.
Since the day I met Kirk, I along with everyone else that knew him, saw that he was deeply rooted in the word of God and his relationship was solid. When he lead(s) worship you can see his love and passion shine through. He has never been the type of person to "flaunt" his worship. if that makes any sense at all, because his focus has always been on the Lord, not on those he was leading, after all, that's what worship is about, right?! When Kirk and I were dating, he is the one that made sure we prayed every night before we say goodbye and goodnight to each other, and we still do that to this very day. now all that to say, i feel that it is the most important thing to have my husband be in tune with the Lord always.
Now as for my role, I have not always been the type of person to want to be submissive, especially to a man. Before I got saved, I was the type of woman who decided I would do everything I could to be independent from everything and be able to take care of myself. That is one of the biggest changes in my life since I came to know the Lord. I can still see it come out every once and a while and I am quickly reminded that, that is not the woman God made me to be.
Now that I am at home with our son and no longer work in an office I am in the midst of what I, and Kirk, feel I am called to do. Serving next to my husband and serving him by caring for our son has been the biggest blessing I could ever ask for. Now, it hasn't been all perfect and wonderful, being a pastors wife has definitely come with it's sacrifices. I think when you are in ministry, it is more than a 40 hour a week job. It's more than just a day job. Ministry doesn't end. Why? Because you are dealing with people, some who often need help and when you are their pastor, you are on call. So boundaries are necessary. You can't predict when people are going to call you because they need help or because volunteers can't remember how things are supposed to be done. So to expect my husband to leave his "work" at work is sometimes not an option. We have to constantly remind ourselves, however, that the Lord calls us to serve the Lord then our families then everything else comes after that.
What has been really cool for me is to be able to connect with the women who either serve in Kirk's ministry or are spouses of those who serve in his ministry. I have met some of the most amazing women though him and have made some life long friends.
So, Steven and Haley, to you I say, stay rooted in the Lord first and foremost. Love one another and Haley, be willing to sacrifice some of your time with your husband, because there will be times when he has to go somewhere for ministry and you have to stay home and all you want him to do is blow it off to stay at home and spend time together. I am so grateful to serve with him and a life in ministry is one of the coolest jobs you could ask for. You always have a chance to travel, you may have to move, but you are constantly meeting new people who love the Lord and there is always a new place to serve.

Missing my blog: Part two

2008-07-30T16:04:00.000-07:00

summer said...
Writers block hmmmm.... I guess I would like to hear about you. The reason I read blog's and twitter is to learn about the heart of the person. What is important to them, what was thought provoking during the day, what inspired them, what experiences life brings both good and bad. real Authenticity, no fluff just heart. Thats what I like to read, however you know I am about authenticity right now anyhow. Have fun :)

Well, this past week Elijah and I went up north to visit my mom and step dad while Kirk attended a worship conference in Austin, Texas. We were there for about 10 days and had such a wonderful time visiting with them and meeting their friends. It's about time, they've only been there for a year and a half! Anyway, this week I realized how much I love my husband and hate for him to be away. Kirk and I have not been apart for extended periods of time since Elijah has been born and let me tell you, I have such an appreciation for single mother's. Or fathers for that matter. Being on your own taking care of your child is a lot harder than it sounds. And even though we were at the grandparents home, they were working all week, so there was no relief until maybe the next morning. I know how blessed and spoiled I am to have my husband come home for lunch almost every day and play with Elijah during the short time he is home, allowing me to get some work done or just rest. Although I recognize it, I underestimate the amount of help and relief is given during that short time. So to all of you parents who are on your own, I give you mad props because you are amazing people for being able to do what you do.
Now, my beautiful, wonderful son grew up so much in these short 10 days of being away from home. He had already begun to start crawling a little bit, but it was more like two quick strides and then onto his bottom. While we were gone he went from one end of the house to the other, and quick too! He just became so independent in such a short amount of time, my little boy is growing up. He also cut a tooth. It's the bottom front right tooth and when he smiles real big you can see the tip of it shining. And after a very long nine months of going back and forth from room to room in the middle of the night as well as going back and forth trying to decide whether we should let him cry, Elijah started to sleep through the night! From 7:30pm to 6:30am my baby is sound asleep. No tricks, no special sleeping patterns, he decided he was tired of waking up and just stayed asleep. And to top it off, I can give him a bottle and he will sleep for another 1-2 hours. Praise The Lord!!!
Finally on Friday, one week after Elijah and I arrived, Kirky joined us in Discovery Bay and all was complete and right in the world again. I missed him so much and even my mom said,"As much as we love you, and are excited to see you, things just aren't complete with out Kirk here." How cool is that?! My mom and Mike are used to having just me in the house because it was just us for 11 years. But Kirk completes me so much and connects to my family so well that not even my parents feel right when he's not there. I love that!!
Saturday Mom and Mike threw a party for Elijah... and his parents... so that all of they're friends could meet him and love on him. It was so nice being able to spend time with these people who have become their family in a new place. We ate, we drank, we were merry. :)
It's so great to be home now and see Elijah scurry around his home and explore all the little things that he shouldn't be getting into. He has already learned how to climb the stairs, with no assistance, but very, very close supervision. He is pulling himself up in his crib and I swear he is almost ready to jump out of that thing. All that to say, I am glad to be home, I miss my mom and Mike, but I'm glad to be home.
Oh and the featured photos are some shots I took at a Catholic church (more to come) and while Mike and I were on the bike in pursuit of t=some quick shots before the sun went down. i hope you enjoy them.
Remember all of my photos can be viewed on my Flickr page any time you would like to see them.

A story you all should hear...

2008-06-12T21:36:00.001-07:00

Lindsey Sowles is such an amazing testimony. Her story and battle need to be spread. I hope one day that we could all have the strength she has.

Please follow this link to hear her story...
http://www.KESQ.com/global/video/popup/pop_playerLaunch.asp?vt1=v&clipFormat=flv&clipId1=2586618&at1=News&h1=Former Bob Hope Classic Girl, 21, Faces Grim Prognosis (6/12)

Missing my blog... continued

2008-06-11T20:02:00.001-07:00

Based off of the first comment/request I got, here it is...
I would love to continue to do this, so please feel free to keep sending your ideas my way.

"shannon b. said...
I just love seeing all the cute pictures of your family!!!"

Missing my blog...

2008-06-02T15:10:00.000-07:00

It's been over a month now since my last blog. I guess I haven't felt that there is much to blog about lately. Even now I am having a hard time figuring out what to write about. I want to write about something meaningful, something impactful, something that will leave a lasting affect on those who read. But, I'm sorry to say that is just not going to happen today. I'm just sitting here while Elijah is napping and the laundry is running and starting to babble my way through this blog.
I have an idea, if you read my blog, I would love to get ideas about what you would like me to write about. I think that could be fun. It could turn out to be a sort of "get to know you" type of thing. I am going to leave this open to pretty much any subject within reason of course. :) So, help me out and give me some ideas.
Thanks, I look forward to hopefully getting some good feedback.
~LYNZ~ :)

Nature...

2008-04-22T15:52:00.000-07:00

The biggest reason why I chose to start doing photography is simply because I love nature. This has to be my most favorite time of the year... why? Because the earth looks simply beautiful. I see it fitting to be writing this today... on Earth Day. I am amazed at how God crafted this earth so beautifully. The rocks, the trees and the flowers. They are all so unique. I took the featured photo here during our recent trip to Joshua Tree. This was such a cool day because we had expected to see tons of colorful flowers and blooming trees. unfortunatlely we were a little to early for that. So that's why this tree seemed to pop out. It had such a huge bloom on it and just seemed so perfect. Every time I look at this picture I am grateful because it reminds me that God will always reveal Himself to us wherever we need Him, even when we are in the middle of a desert where the land seems so dry and empty... He is there. I am so grateful for that.

A Very Merry Un-Birthday To You!!

2008-04-18T13:19:00.000-07:00

Today is Elijah's six month birthday!! Six months?! My goodness how time has flown. We took him in to get his shots this morning and were there for-ever! I think we ended up getting home by noon. I can't stand doctors offices. So Elijah is now 25 inches long and weighs 18.3 lbs. That means he has gained five pounds in 2 months!! My goodness, I knew he was heavy! Everyone at the doctors office really loves on him. One of the nurses asked if she could "borrow" him for a little while and then walked him around the office and passed him around to the other nurses. Elijah is a little ham because he loved hanging out with those ladies. It's true that when you bring a baby around, no one gets any work done. :) The doctor still didn't want to take his skin tag off, he said he could wait another six months to do it, so I told him no and I wanted it done as soon as possible. Since he's going on vacation he asked if he could do it when he came back just in case something happened and Elijah needed to see the doctor again. So I compromised and said that he could do it in a month when he gets back. I really want to find a new pediatrition, so if anyone knows of a good one that is taking new patients, let me know. He is starting to get one tooth in, it's just coming in, so we are at the very beginning stages of teething... good times. So I guess we are going to hold off on getting him to sleep through the night. We are also going to start taking him to child care at the church on Sunday mornings... eeep. I'm kind of nervous because I don't want him to freak out when we leave him, but we've got to do it, and he'll get used to it. We are also now able to take him to the gym, so here he comes world, watch out for Eli!! So there's the latest. Also, we have some announcements that we have been meaning to send out, so if you haven't received one yet that means we need your address. Please email us and we'll get it out to you right away.
~LYNZ~ :)

To be Known...

2008-04-15T21:00:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: This will most likely be a long blog, if you do not have time to read this, I ask that when you do you, you will come back to read this. This weekend I attended a conference and would really like to share my heart with you. Thanks.

Psalm 139
For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.
19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

April 11-12, 2008.
This weekend I had the honor and privilege to attend a conference given by Beth Moore given through LifeWay. I haven't ever done a Beth Moore study nor have I read any of her books, but a friend asked me if I would like to go to this conference, so I said sure. Now, if you've been reading my past few blogs you'll know that I have been in somewhat of a spiritual desert, maybe more of a pit, and I have been doing what I can in this past few weeks to try and dig my way out of it. With the encouragement and accountability of friends as well as lots of prayer, I feel like that ditch is becoming more and more shallow. I am so excited because I feel as though the Lord has been preparing my heart for this weekend. He knew exactly what I needed to get from this weekend to help boost me along the way.

So the first evening we walked in and met up with some friends from the desert, it was wonderful seeing them. We entered into a time of musical worship led by Travis Cottrell and Praise Team. It was pretty powerful to hear over 9,000 women singing in unison to God. After that Beth came up and told us that we would be reading from Psalm 139. Apparently she's never taught from this passage and so we were all extremely excited to see what God had in store. The theme of the weekend was "To Be Known By God." The first passage was focused on verses 1-6. I think being "known by God hit me so hard because I need to be reminded that there is someone who is so much bigger than me and knows all of my wacky flaws and knows my inner most thoughts and knows what I've come from and still loves me. What was really cool was that Beth pointed out that God knows us in and out yet he does not cheat himself of searching us. She made a comparison to a relationship, we don't just pour our lives out to people when we first meet them, (most of us) we get to know someone by searching, by asking questions, by inquiring. Why would God choose to bypass such a unique experience. God also thinks that we are interesting, intriguing and worthy to be known. He knows our weaknesses. (Romans 8: 26-27 26In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. 27And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.) God has an intimacy with us because he searches. God knows what I am capable of and knows that I am capable of more than I think or realize. As average as I think I am, God thinks differently. I realize that even though I put a happy and confident face on, I am quite insecure. I have a huge fear of rejection and that is why I have become a people pleas er. I feel like I am slowly growing out of that, but it is who I have made myself and not who God wants me to be. I know that he has called me to be a confident woman of God. One who is constantly striving for more, who is not afraid to stand up for what I believe in and can be confident in front of someone who challenges my faith because God stands by my side. His is in front, above, behind and below.

Day two consisted of two different sessions. The first going through verses 7-12. The morning was a challenge to deal with our struggles. Not just saying we've dealt with them, but getting down to the root of them, whether the struggle was with addictions of various kinds, pride, disobedience, etc. A lot of times we think we've dealt with something but really we've only touched the surface. we've trimmed the hedges instead of digging deep where we get our hands dirty and dig out the roots no matter how deep they may be. It's funny, today the gardeners came by and tore out all of the weeds that were growing in the front yard and they left them on the sidewalk to pick up later on. As I walked outside to get the mail I thought to myself, this is what I need to do... I need to dig out these weeds, from the root up and give it up to God so he can get rid of them for good. When they were in the ground they seemed to just take over everything surrounding them, it actually took away from the beautiful plants that surrounded them. but now that they are out, I can see the beauty that the Gardner intended to be. In regards to the scripture, Beth said something I've never heard before, "God can't see in the dark, He doesn't see dark." He is the light! He shines on everything, whether it means he is showing us our own faults or just shining in our happiness. He shines.

Verses 13-24. Kraus Commentary on Psalm 139:17 When you were conceived, God had reverence. Reverence... the Hebrew word for reverence is Pala meaning wonderfully; to distinguish. God took time to knit our every being. She gave some stats as to how each cell looks and what is consists of and how many we have, to the amount of blood vessels throughout our hearts. it's amazing, God did all of that, how can anyone think we just happened to evolve? She also took us to Job 10: 1; 5-8; 15-16. Job writes about how much he hates himself and would just rather die. God put us all here to glorify Him somehow and self loathing is not apart of that purpose. As women, we have struggles with our self worth at times. We can never loathe ourselves and still love God, it just can't happen. We also think that we are showing humility through our "loathing" but in reality we are often hating ourselves and that is just another form of selfishness. In Jeremiah 1: 4-6 (4 The word of the LORD came to me, saying, 5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." 6 "Ah, Sovereign LORD," I said, "I do not know how to speak; I am only a child.") God shows that he has a special love for each of us, he thinks we are precious to Him. Have you ever thought that God used baby talk with us? Telling us "look at my precious little baby." That same joy you get when you see your own child is the same joy that God has when He sees us, we are that special to him.

In the last few verses the writer speaks of hating Gods enemies. He asks God to "slay the wicked" and says he "abhors" these people, he has "nothing but hatred for them." Now, not everybody has this strong of feelings toward someone, it could be in a different form, but still, it is hate. If I am completely honest with you, I have one person that I truly hate in my life. I know that it is sinful to hate, but because of my past with this person and how I was treated, it is hard for me to find an ounce of like for this person, let alone love. It's interesting because this person has rooted their life into mine and now that they are not physically involved in my life, they are mentally. As much as I have said I have forgiven them and I no longer am affected by them is a lie. I would love to forgive them and find love for them, but I don't know how. This person was in my life for 14 years and a lot happened during that time that can scar a person. I ask for prayer because I know that I am not giving glory to God when I think of this person. He knows my heart, He know my pain, He knows how to rid me of the anger... I just need to figure it out. Beth asked us to turn our hatred into prayer and focus our energy on the Lord because it takes more energy to hate someone. It is easier to let God.
Psalm 139: 23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

So that is it. That is the weekend in a nutshell... a rather large nutshell. It may have seemed a little random, but I hope that God was able to speak to you anyway. I am trying to implement some things in my life already so that I can be a more loving wife, mother, and overall person. I want to bring glory to God in all that I do and say. He is who will help me to rid my heart of anything yuck that remains, He knows what I need and will help me along the way.

I leave you with this song. Thank you so much for reading. Love to you all.
He Knows My Name
Words and Music by Tommy Walker
© 1996 Doulos Publishing
Jeremiah 1:5
"Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee."
I have a Maker
He formed my heart
Before even time began
My life was in his hands
Chorus
He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
and He hears me when I call
I have a Father
He calls me His own
He?ll never leave me
No matter where I go
Chorus
He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
and He hears me when I call

Spring...

2008-04-05T18:04:00.000-07:00

Well Spring has sprung and all the excitement that comes with it it has not failed to grace us with its presence. We have had the joy of being able to take Elijah to the beach as well as to Joshua Tree, one trip was wonderful and everyone had a great time, the other... not quite the same outcome. Taking Elijah to the beach was one of the most exciting experiences. We often forget about our first impression of a new thing because we were too young to actually remember the experience. Well, having a child kind of helps you to relive those things. The moment his feet touched that mud and watched the water slowly creeping away he had a huge smile on his face, then it turned into an uncertainty of what was going to happen next. I held onto to him as we slowly walked closer to the shore line in order for him to actually feel the ocean on his tiny baby feet. As Kirk was taking pictures of us we smiled and tip toed closer. Knowing that the San Diego beaches don't have the warmest of waters (this isn't Hawaii after all) I didn't want to shock him, so I tried to ease him is as slowly as I possibly could while looking at an anxious father with the camera held tightly and ready to shoot at any moment. The tide finally came in and Elijah loved it! His little feet sank into the sand as the water drifted back out and so we became a little more adventurous since Elijah didn't start screaming. The next step belonged to daddy. So I took my place as designated photographer and waited to see what step Kirk would take with my precious little boy. I knew in my head exactly what was going to happen, but wanted Kirk to have his moment with his son. We got our photo op and then Kirk started to walk closer and closer to the water, the next thing I know, Kirk is sitting Elijah down in the mud. Not a big deal right? Well, sure, but if you would have seen that water coming in you would be just as nervous as I was anticipating what was coming next. Now I may be a paranoid mom, but that ok, I get to be. :) The water finally came in and Elijah was waist deep in sea water... screaming! That cold water did not agree with him at all. I have to admit, it was a little funny and Kirk immediately took him out, but not before I got some awesome shots of his tight little fist and red face. After that we dried him off in his towel and held onto him to comfort him. We sat at the beach for a little while longer so I could take a few more shots and so Elijah could enjoy the sea breeze and sunlight. I'm sure the next time we go out there he will understand what he's getting into a little better. :)
Now as for Joshua Tree... oh Joshua Tree. I remember Joshua Tree from when I was much younger, my step dad took me to go rock climbing and it was one of the best experiences I've ever had. Well, I can't say poor Elijah had one of those experiences. We were all set to go, camera ready, water bottles filled, sun screen applied. we put Elijah in the hiking backpack and set off to do a little hiking. Well that day just happened to be pretty windy and the higher up we climbed, the more and more windy it got. Poor Elijah could not find his breath, so the walk was short lived... but again, not over before I got some great photos of him. He looked so darn cute in his new hat and camo tee shirt. We had driven that far to get out there so it wasn't like we were going to just turn around and head back home. Plus we had my dad, brother and his girlfriend with us. So poor little Elijah had to sit in his car seat while I went out to take pictures and daddy got to sit with him. Kirk got to take a break every so often as my dad watched Elijah as well as my brothers girlfriend. I got some great shots while we were there, but was slightly bummed at the lack of newly bloomed flowers. Oh well, maybe our next trip. Elijah was extremely well behaved while he was forced to stay in the truck that had gusts of 0mph, just how he liked it. :) He ended up taking a three hour nap and allowed us to enjoy a picnic and quiet ride home.
I love to experience new adventures with Elijah. It always turns out to be exciting one way or another.
On the personal front, I do believe I hit a wall big time this week. I have not really had a break and neither has Kirk. It's amazing how difficult it is to give all of yourself to two people, one who depends on you for survival and the other who depends on you for companionship. I love everything about my life, my husband and my son, but I have a hard time knowing when I need to take a time out. Well, I think when one is trying to set up a pack and play and doesn't succeed and is doing all they can to hold back tears... that would be the point when you say, no more, time out! Right now is my moment to take a break from cleaning, cooking, taking care of a child and hanging out with my hubby. I don't want to sound ungrateful or like I don't want to be with my family, but God commands us to take a sabbath and I have not been faithful in doing that... at all. My debriefing comes with being alone, reading, writing and taking photos. Today I am able to do 3 of the 4. Praise God that I have a husband who is willing to take care of me when he is just as tired. He works full time, is going to seminary full time and takes care of his home. He deserves as much of a break as I do.
An update on my spiritual walk, well, I have started On The Other Side of The Garden and have also been able to incorporate reading Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers which happens to be one of the best books I have ever read. The person I am reading with has already challenged me on how I can be a better help mate to my husband as well as lead my son. We have incorporated some homework so that we can keep each other accountable in different aspects of our relationships with our husbands as well as the Lord. I really feel like I am turning a corner, so i just pray that I will be able to keep it up. Having an accountability partner in this stage of my life is important. We are also reading with one other dear friend and are anxious to hear what she has been learning so far. God is definitely answering prayers so thank you to those who have been lifting me up.
Well, I believe that's it, my fingers hurt a little. I'm going to get back to some reading and then join my family for dinner. Thank you so much to those who read my blog, it is always encouraging to hear from you.
Also, if you are interested in seeing more of my photos or pictures of Elijah, here is the website.
www.flickr.com/photos/lynzmiller
Love to you all.
~LYNZ~ :)

Spiritual Desert...

2008-03-19T16:04:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been feeling a certain dryness when it comes to my spiritual walk. I realize that I am not enjoying going to church, I merely go for the social aspect. I am distracted by my son when I do go. (Is it time to take him to child care?? AHH!) I hang out with some of my friends and don't feel uplifted at times. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends but I don't have many relationships that I feel are helping to sharpen me. I can count two people in my life (outside of my husband) that I can be completely open with and I respect spiritually.
So today I shared my heart with that person and felt like I was able to resolve some of my junk. My prayer life is wonderful... trust me, when you spend all day with a 5 month old you need to talk to someone... Jesus comes in handy at all times! So as a result of that I am, along with this person, going to start reading On The Other Side of The Garden by Virginia Ruth Fugate. I have read this book once before and man oh man, this book is amazing. I am hoping that as a result of this my spiritual life will be a beautiful green valley once again.
Please pray for me. Pray that I will find women in my life to help sharpen me and vice versa. oh how I long for the day when I can be surrounded by those amaazing women again, Lord, bring me those women.

Mornings are my favorite

2008-03-13T13:50:00.000-07:00

Life has dramatically changed since I have become a mother but one of the less important changes is my joy of the morning. Although I have to wake up earlier than I would like I am always happy because I hear the happy coos of my little boy. He is such a morning person... not like mommy and daddy. The minute he sees your face he greets you with a big toothless grin and immediately starts talking to you. I can't think of a more beautiful sound. I thank God for this precious gift He has given us. It is a huge responsibility but such an honor to have.
On the home front, Kirk is almost done with school (for the summer) and I can't wait to have him home on those evenings again. It is wonderful to see how much he is enjoying school and how well he is doing. We just joined a gym and are ready to get into shape again. It was a decision that was a long time coming, but since it has been almost 5 months since I had Elijah it is time to get rid of that baby pooch.
Not much else is going on... life is going well and we are grateful for every day that we get.
Thanks for those who are reading this, I would love to hear your comments, but most of all would love to continue to share my life with you.

Friendships, Life and Ministry

2008-02-17T15:19:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking about friendships a lot lately. Some old, some new, some that I can barely call friendships anymore. You see, I view my friends as family. Living in a place where you don't have much family, you'll understand how my friends can become so. But I wonder if I am being the friend that I desire to have. I wonder if there are friends that we don't talk to as often because we haven't been what they need so they've moved on. I hope not. I miss my friends from the desert lately and feel bad we haven't seen them in a while. Especially since Elijah was born. Some people I feel don't care to even speak to us anymore since they haven't called since Elijah was born, some have become extremely busy, don't we all. I don't know, this post is jumbled. I just want to be closer to people, I want them to know my son and I want my son to know them. He deserves to know these amazing people that we love. Anywho, I just pray that I can focus more on how to be a better friend and how to love them more.
Life has been pretty crazy these past few weeks. I got the flu and Kirk had to take care of me and the baby as well as work and attend school. Poor thing, he's had a lot to take in. I have not been that sick since we have been together so it was a rude awakening for the both of us. Elijah stayed healthy, thank God, and is growing like crazy. He is now 4 months old, weighs 14 pounds and is 24 inches long. He has pretty much outgrown all of his 0-3 month clothes, but has a few outfits that still fit. They are so cute that it is hard to part from them. What's really neat is that he now has a brand new wardrobe that we have been waiting to put him in. People blessed us with some adorable outfits and if it weren't for them, we would probably be in debt up to our ears trying to buy clothes for him. :):)
On a side note, I am trying to help my sister-in-law out with a ministry she started in Uganda called the Dorcas Widows Ministry. These women live of of less than a dollar a day and are responsible for the care of multiple children, some of which aren't even theirs. Not to mention that they all have HIV/Aids. They are some pretty amazing women. Anyway, they have created some beautiful pieces of jewelry and purses and we are selling them here in the states on their behalf. If you have the tim, please visit www.myspace.com/dorcaswidowsministry That will help explain more and you can also view some of the items we are selling.
So that is it for now, I can't wait to start posting more.

Motherhood

2007-12-11T19:09:00.000-08:00

Elijah is almost 8 weeks old. Can you believe it?!! I sure can't. THe time has flown by so fast that I can hardly stand it. I have to say that I think I am falling into this motherhood thing pretty well. I am walking two days a week with friends... other moms. We have our little routine down and I can understand his different cries. There is such a great fulfillment knowing that you are meeting someone's needs. Again, I really feel like I am falling into the calling that God has made specifically for me. I have never felt more complete in my life, not to say life was bad before, I just hated working at a desk. Towards the end of my job I wasn't interacting with people enough and that was torture. Now I interact with my son on a daily basis and I m building strong relationships with new and old friends.
I don't have much time to blog today... I am baking cookies. :) But I will be back later.
Oh yeah, Elijah has his shots on Thursday so please pray for strength for all of us.

My Sweet little Elijah

2007-11-04T16:23:00.000-08:00

I could not be more happy to have finally met my little boy. If you didn't already know he was born on Thursday, Oct 18th 2007 at 5:25pm. He weighed 5lbs 5oz and was 19" long.
He is now 17 days old, or 2 and a half weeks for those who don't want to figure out how long that is in adult time. :):) He weighs 7lbs 12oz and is 21" long. He is growing so fast already but is still as perfect as can be. He has got a strong set of lungs on him, that's for sure. He likes to keep mommy and daddy awake at night... or morning... I don't really know anymore, it all kind of meshes together. I feel as if he is literally sucking my intelligence away when he is feeding because it seems harder and harder to be able to put a sentence together as each day passes. But it's all worth it if it means my boy is being well fed.
Kirk goes back to work tomorrow so my real test is just about to come into play. I feel pretty confident that I will do just fine, but pray for me anyway. :)
Well, that's about all I have time for right now, I need to tend to Elijah.I just wanted to share a quick update wit you all.
~LYNZ~ :)

I love my Husband

2007-10-11T10:55:00.000-07:00

I don't know if I say this enough to other people... or even to my husband, I sure hope I do, but I Love that man more than words can explain, which is exactly why this post is dedicated to him.
Kirk is the kind of man that would give you the shirt off of his back, he cares deeply about his friends, he loves the least and he love Jesus.
Over the past nine months he has been the best husband I think I could have asked for and then some. Not to say that I have made things hard on him, but dealing with a pregnant woman is not always easy. I would break into tears because I had a long day at work, I would get frustrated with stupid things so easily. But even so Kirk loved on me more than he ever has before. When people ask me what my biggest fear is about giving labor my only response is that I'm afraid I'll be mean to Kirk. He doesn't deserve it, even if I'm pushing out a child. He's not worried about it, he just tells me that I'll be fine and even if I do get mad at him for some lame reason... "he understands." Like I said, I love that man.
I can not wait to see what he's going to be like as a father, I know he's going to be amazing. If I think he couldn't love me any more, gosh, I'm going to be blown away by how he loves our son. It makes me smile when he talks to our little boy, and when Elijah responds. You should see his face light up at the fact that the baby moved while he was talking to him. It's so neat. He rubs my feet, my head, my back, he makes me as comfortable as possible. He's going to be the best dad, he already is.
So anyway, I just had a love moment and needed to share that with everyone. I love my Kirky and am so glad I get to share the rest of my life with him.
YAY.

Oh how the year has gone by...

2007-07-24T09:40:00.000-07:00

As I sit at my desk with little to do this morning, it has given me time to reflect on this past year. Normally I don't do this in the middle of the year, but seeing as how so much has happend since January 1 I can't help but think about the amazing things that God has done in mine and Kirk's life, in our friends lives and our family's lives. Since January we have been witnesses to 4 weddings, been apart of two engagements, seen a child born, seen the creation of 2 new babies in the making, seen a friend nearly die and recover, seen friends and family move to different parts of te world, go on mission trips, and so on... and it's only July 24th.
July 24th! Holy cow, it's almost August! We are 80 days away from our due date... possibly 66 since I hear that half of pregnancies happen two weeks before their expected due date... wowwy! Where has this year gone? I find myself reflecting a lot these days. Knowing that mine and Kirk's life will be changing dramatically very soon and beginning to grasp on to the fact that we will no longer have time to ourselves. That we have another human being that we are fully responsible for, who's spritual life will be determined by how we live in front of him, who's view of what a husband should look like will be determined by how I respond to my own husbands leadership and how well my husband leads me. No pressure...hehe. Each morning is different for me, hormones they are a raging. Some mornings I wake up with an overwhleming amount of joy, others I wake up sad for some reason and on those rare mornings I wake up not wanting to see or talk to anyone because I want to slap someone. This morning was more of a downer, I woke up, got ready, even had the opportunity to have a morning drink with my husband while we were waiting for breakfast to be done, and I said nothing. When he left I felt like I could cry because didn't kiss him goodbye. I was more focused on my stupid bagel. What a lame-o. Why was this morning any different than those while he is still in bed? I often long for those mornings of getting ready together, having long talks about nothing in the morning and then kissing him goodbye as he walks out the door. I hate it when I miss opportunities like this one.
Anyway... reflection... this year...
My mom and Mike moved up north this year, which is still a pretty large adjustment. It's wierd, even though Kirk and I moved away almost two years ago, I have always had the luxury of driving two hours to go and see them and now, we have to actually plan a time to get together so that one of us can purchase a plan ticket. I don't like that. It was especially hard these past couple of months when I was in the desert almost every weekend for two months for wedding stuff and I didn't get to see my mom once. What most people don't realize is that my mom and I have become really great friends since I became an official adult and even more so since I got married. Don't get me wrong, she still has the mother role down in my life and I have the utmost respect for her, but we have reached a different level of relationship that I know I will never have with anyone else in my life, because she is the only mother that I have. :) All that to say, I really miss my mom and wish we could live close again, but I guess that this is something that we all need to experience on some level in some point of our lives.
Our relationships here in San Diego have grown closer. I am so grateful for our friends. They are truly unique people. Not because they are all corky in their own special way, but because they hold an overwhelming sense of love and compassion for Kirk and I. There is a couple specifically who have welcomed us into their family and treated us like they've known us for years that help make this ongoing transition even easier. I am so grateful for them. We have a weekly gathering with another couple who we love dearly and I am super grateful for that time as well. As usual, we have loved having Summer, Assad and the boys here. They are a staple for us. A little taste of home. And now Chris and Melissa have moved out here, life is good. I would love for a couple of other friends to move out here, but that may take a little longer than I would think or like for that matter.
I think that's all the time I have for reflecting at the moment, I've got some stuff I need to get to. That was fun though. Also, the picture above was taken by Gina, she's pretty amazing.

Getting Hitched

2007-07-09T09:48:00.001-07:00

This past weekend, I got to witness two of my best friends tie the knot and I have to say, I could not be more proud and excited.

Their wedding was absolutely beautiful and seemed to go pretty flawless. Melissa looked beautiful, Chris looked very handsome. Watching those two as they were saying their vows was a little surreal, imagine what it felt like for them. This has been three years in the making... freaking awesome! I love these two so much and am so excited for them and am even more excited (selfishly) that they are now living in San Diego. We have already been able to spend some really awesome time with them in their new home and I think that they are going to do very well living here. God has truly blessed us by bringing friends out to this area and not just any friends, but our closest ones. First Summer and Assad and now Chris and Melissa. Who's next on that list? Hehe. Anyway, Congratulations my friends and I know that you new life together will be so wonderful and filled with love.

Final Project photos... finally!

2007-07-03T12:00:00.000-07:00

2007-05-20T18:18:00.000-07:00

I'm just going to put these photos all in one post. I learned from this project that if I have to take pictures of people I prefer to take candid shots. So for this afternoon, I followed a friend and her two boys around her home as they played and got into anything and everything possible. The biggest critic on these photos was the lighting coming through the trees. When it comes to editing photos, I realized it makes it very difficult to have different strengths of lights splattered throughout the photo. Oh, well... that's how you learn.

Shot Glasses

2007-05-20T18:16:00.001-07:00

Shot Glasses
Originally uploaded by ~LYNZ~ :).

This photo was taken at my Mom's most recent birthday party. It was a lot of fun and I figured I could get some good shots out of the night. The counter top of this bar reflected the shot glasses really well, and I felt like I caught a good photo of the most expensive bottle of liquor in the placed being poured into glasses to only see seconds of life before being thrown down into the mouths of some very happy people.

Grass

2007-05-20T18:13:00.001-07:00

Grass
Originally uploaded by ~LYNZ~ :).

This next photo was taken while I was in Minnesota and it wa a pretty amazing day out. I didn't to much to capture this shot unfortunately, but I think it came out pretty neat. However, I don't think my photo teacher felt the same. I like the fact that the sun was really bright and very in your face... he felt differently.

EiffleTower

2007-05-20T18:11:00.001-07:00

EiffleTower
Originally uploaded by ~LYNZ~ :).

This is the first of my Vantage point assignment. I took this photo in Las Vegas and have had some good feed back on it so I decided to turn it in. I took this photo with a longer exposure because it was taken at night and I wanted to try to capture the awesome-ness of this feax-Eiffel Tower.

Green

2007-02-25T17:15:00.001-08:00

Green
Originally uploaded by ~LYNZ~ :).

My final photo was taken of my dear Kirky. I used an open shutter and had him turn a green flash light on and off as he moved around the room. It was pretty fun. If you look really close you can see a silhouette of his face in the middle. Fun Times.

DSCN0141

2007-02-25T17:14:00.001-08:00

DSCN0141
Originally uploaded by ~LYNZ~ :).

This is the second photo I am using for our Color Assignment. It is of some wine glasses that a girlfriend of mine owns. I really liked these glasses. :)

Pretty Flower

2007-02-25T17:12:00.001-08:00

Pretty Flower
Originally uploaded by ~LYNZ~ :).

Here is one photo that I am using for our Color Assignment. It is our second assignment and my teacher really liked this photo. I hope you enjoy it as well. :):)

Update

2007-02-13T12:29:00.000-08:00

Well, it looks like we will not be going to Africa this year.
Unfortunately we were not able to raise enough money to purchase our tickets in time. But God has other thing in His plan for us, some which we don't have the foresight to know. I think that we are OK with it though. We have prayed about it and thought long and hard about and I we feel that God decided that the timing is wrong for us to go. I am not too upset about this except for one thing, our sponsor children were told that we were coming out there before we knew we actually were. Now they have to deal with the disappointment of knowing that we can't go. The last thing I want to do is disappoint these children who have seen disappointment after disappointment in their lives. I hope that World Vision can find a way to tell them in way that they understand and hope that they still believe that we love them dearly.
In other news, school has started and it has been pretty fun. I am taking digital photography which has been quite educational. I have learned how to use my camera and am continuing to learn how to use the settings to make my photos look Awesome! I look forward to showing more of my photos in the future...
We are looking into renting a house at the moment. It is a pretty sweet house. It sits on an acre and a half and has about 12 fruit and avocado trees. It is a 2 bed room almost three bedroom home with 2 bath. it is about 1900 sq feet and has hard wood floors. It is absolutely gorgeous. It is on top of a hill and over looks the entire city. I really hope that we can get it because it would make me very happy. And I sure do like to be happy. :)
So that is all for now, I guess I should probably get back to work. :)

Growth

2006-08-17T10:19:00.000-07:00

So here it goes, I'm attempting to do this whole blogger thing. I have a LiveJournal, I have a MySpace account, and now this. Who knows, maybe I'll be able to connect to more people through this. And maybe I can be a little more candid seeing how I don't really know many people on this thing yet. Then again... maybe not. :)
The past few months of my life have seemed like a whirlwind. We've been in Escondido now for 9 months yet it only feels like we've been here for 2. I have my ups and downs, I miss my friends and family but I am really excited about the people that we have met here. I can really see us building strong relationships with these people. I just hope that life slows down a little bit more so that we can hang out like we used to. I'm almost positive that we will be back in the desert in September which will be really fun. I am really anxious to see a few people that I haven't had the chance to talk with in a while.
Anyway, I am planning on going back to school, ideally I would've like to go back this upcoming semester but it looks like I'll have to wait one more so that I can figure out all of the little details. I am declaring Photography as my major. Whew, that only took 4 years to figure out. Originally I had planned on some sort of ministry degree, and eventually I would like to have some sort of Bible focused education, it would be fun to learn a little more theology... but that will have to wait for a while longer. For now, I have a goal. I really enjoy taking pictures, I love to capture the beauty, excitement, and passion of the moment. I hope to be able to communicate my passion through that art one day. One thing I would love to do is take pictures and then do a painting over them. I saw somebody do that once and it looked so amazing. So, yay for knowing what I want to do as a career. This will be something that I will be able to do that won't take too much of my time when Kirk and I have kids. It's great.
This upcoming May of '07 Kirk and I will be heading off to Africa. Uganda to be specific. That's right, we're finally going. After years and years of dreaming of going to Africa... we finally get to go. My Nina would be so excited. Ever since the first time she went on an African safari, I've wanted to experience this place... but now my focus is a little different. This time it's for ministry. We are hopefully going to see our two sponsor children who aparently live in the middle of nowhere. :) As well as going to northern Uganda to visit the children who are in the midst of the war. I am a little nervous about that because the LRA is ruthless. We will also be visiting a few orphanages and hospitals. It will be a busy couple of weeks but I can't wait.
Resonate (the video venue we came here to do) is doing really well. There's already talk of having to go to a third service because of how fast the service has grown, but there is still room left before we absolutely have to go to another service. I am happy that the response to this service has been so great because we are now reaching a completely different demographic of people. I feel like people are learning what real worship looks like and feels like. They don't have to be told what to do. People are even starting to clap on their own, and stand up on their own. I truly believe that the darker atmosphere helps with a lot of the insecurities that people have. Also, the band is pretty awesome. i'm not saying that because I'm biased or anything (since my husband leads the ministry and bands) but these guys are really good. He's got some amazing artists in his ministry and I am truly grateful for them, because I see how much it blesses him to have a team with impecible talents.
So those are my thought for now. Oh, here are some links to my pictures that I've done already as well as my other pages.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/lynzmiller
http://www.myspace.com/lynzmiller

2006-07-09T21:23:00.000-07:00

Yay! A post!!!
~LYNZ~ :)